New Favorite Person

Her name is Evelyn and she lives two doors down from me and she is a fearless and mighty s***** killer.

It was huge and ugly and was on my bed next to my face and not okay.


And then it was on Dragon's foot, and Mummydear* tried to talk me through killing it, but instead I hyperventilated, so that didn't work very well.

And then it was under my bed where I couldn't get it, even if I could stop panicking, which I couldn't, but that's beside the point, the point being that its disappearance was problematic because being able to see it is bad enough, but knowing it's somewhere but not knowing where somewhere is means that it could be anywhere and that's not okay.

But I heard some doors opening and closing down the hall (or possibly upstairs) so I went out and saw a girl heading to the bathroom and asked her if she could kill spiders and she said she could and then she did and isn't she magnificent?


I think I'm going to marry her.**

*Yes, Mummydear.  I called her internationally because the demon was between me and the door and me and my computer but not me and my phone, and who else could help me?

**Or I would, if I were into participating in heteronormative rituals of oppression, which I'm not, and if she were into heteronormative rituals of oppression and also girls, which are presently unknown elements of her personality.  But we might have coffee (hot chocolate) when we both cease to be ill, which seems to be as close to marriage as we're gonna get in the eternal thanks market.

Peach Rings and Naquadria

That is, I'm eating peach rings and I need naquadria.   For those poor souls among you who are unfamiliar with Stargate, and are too lazy to follow the link, I'll sum it up for you just vaguely enough that you'll have to watch all of SG-1 to understand.  Naquadria is an isotope of naquadah and makes such a big boom that it killed Dr Daniel "I'm a total BAMF" Jackson slightly more than anything else has.

Now, you may be wondering why I want naquadria.  It's not to kill Daniel, I assure you.  The world would be a desolate place without Daniel.  I will come to my need of naquadria shortly.

I went to Edinburgh with my parents, and that was fun.  We toured Edinburgh Castle and Holyrood House, where the Queen stays for about a week each summer.  We walked a lot and were cold.  I mysteriously acquired muscles.  Since my discovery of said muscles, I have been studiously attempting to get rid of them.  Oh! And there were reindeer. I'll toss in some pictures as soon as I'm motivated enough to grab my camera.

After Edinburgh, we went to York.  There we looked at trains, which were pretty damn cool. They will have the Hogwarts Express in February, and you can bet your Sorting Hat I will be there.  Also in York, Daddy conned us into sitting through a church service.  "The Minster is having caroling tonight! Let's go to the caroling!  We can even sit in the back so if you need to leave early, we can slip out.  But the caroling."  So we went.  And they had ushers, one of whom must have been a closeted sadist, because he sat us way up front where we couldn't escape their churchy clutches.  And the "caroling" turned out to be "full-blown Christmas Eve eve¹ service." In a very cold building.

Then we went to the Cotswolds for Christmas itself.  I spent the holiday mostly in my pyjamas, only getting dressed in time for dinner.  I got candy, a dragon puppet², pyjama pants, some movies and January's Cosmo³. (I'm not going to say what I got for other people, because they haven't all gotten their gifts yet, and "Spoilers, Sweetie."⁴  Also, this is by no means a comprehensive list of the wondrous things sent to me by friends and family back home.  This is just what I can see from where I'm sitting because I'm too lazy to actually think.⁵) On Boxing day, we went to a fox hunt.  And by "fox hunt" I mean a lot of people on horses, followed about a dozen dogs down the street while they chased a false trail because it's not legal to actually hunt foxes anymore.  While we waited, I played with a very nice puppy.

Before we left the Cotswolds, we stopped by Broadway Tower.  My first thought upon seeing it was "This is the Lovegoods' house." My second thought upon seeing it was "this will be my house."  Because seriously.  I already know exactly how I want it to be.  BK, you took some architecture classes in college, right? Any chance you could design a reproduction of this for me? Please and thank you and I love you forever? If we set this up in the country, I'll keep a pony for your theoretical future spawn?

But yes, I've decided.  There's three turrets, and one of them will hold the stairs.  The other two will be small rooms off the main room of each floor of the tower. Ground floor will be sitting room: comfy furniture, telly (if I have one), et cetera.  First floor will be my kitchen. Second floor (with the balconies) will be my bedroom.  Shower will be in one turret room, toilet and sink in the other.  My bed will be circular, curtained, and hand in the center of the room.  Third floor will be my library.  I might grow something on the roof, but probably not. 

We were delayed leaving the Tower by a flock of sheep.

In London, we met up with Aunt J, Uncle P, and Cousins Awesome and Younger Awesome for dinner.  MD, Daddy, and I went to The Wizard of Oz, starring Michael Crawford⁶ as the Wizard.  We tried to stage door him after, but apparently he never goes out the stage door so he doesn't have to deal with fans or something.  The next day, we toured Westminster Abbey (geeked out) and saw Billy Elliot (so good).  I think we did something else, but I can't remember what it was. The day after that, we saw Sherlock Holmes, and it was bloody fantastic.

After Mummydear and Daddy left, I joined Aunt J and crew for a tour of Windsor Castle⁷. Then we hopped a train to a ferry to the Netherlands.  We did New Year's with one of Uncle P's former colleagues (she gave me stroopwafel).  At midnight, everyone sets off fireworks, and continues to set them off for several hours.  We saw windmills, toured Anne Frank's house and did some shopping.  As we passed a "coffee house," Cousin Awesome the Elder and I got our first smell of pot, and have both declared it disgusting and that we do not understand why anyone would smoke it.  Cousin Awesome the Younger did not give a reaction, or if he did, I was too busy gagging to catch it. Cousin Awesome the Elder and I jointly launched a tirade against Zeus while waiting in the Line to Forever to get into Anne Frank's house because he decided to hail on us.  Jerk. On our way to the car to leave, I saw a gay & lesbian bookstore, and almost went in, but we were all cold and hungry, so I packed away my queer geekery in favor of food.  But dear gay & lesbian bookstore of Amsterdam, I will be back for you, should I ever risk reentering your country.

That's right.  Risk.  I was supposed to have an 11:55 flight from Amsterdam to London yesterday.  Aunt J walked me into the airport, helped me check in, led me to passport control, pointed out where I'd need to go for my gate & security⁸, and said, "you'll be fine.  Easy as pie."

Bull.

My flight was delayed.  No big deal.  I'd been cutting it close, and that just gave me time to pick up some breakfast.  My flight was delayed again.  Still no big deal.  I'm used to sitting in my classrooms for an hour before we're scheduled to start; I have no problem sitting at my gate reading for an extra half hour or two.  Then my flight was cancelled.

Cue panic⁹.  I tried calling Uncle P and Cousin AtE, but couldn't connect.  I figured they were already on their flight, so their phones were off.  I tried calling MD.  No connection.

Cue more panic.  A very nice lady was sitting near me at the gate, so we wandered off together to ask questions and get some answers.  And by that, I mean I followed her around, she asked questions, and translated the answers for me. 

After crisscrossing the airport a few times (and also being stamped back into the country), we found ourselves in a Line to Forever¹⁰ where we waited to get new flights. There, I spotted the Cousins Awesome, the Elder of whom brought Aunt J to rescue me with a phone to call my parents and just give me hugs of reassurance. The Nice Lady and I made friendly also with the guy behind me, who was on his way to a study abroad at NKU.  As we got nearish the end of the line, an employee wandered by, making new flight arrangements for passengers heading finally to London by phone.  He sent me to a different, shorter, line, where I was given a seat on a plane and a snack voucher.

My new flight was for 7:30.  I found my gate, sat there for awhile, then wandered off for food.  When I got back from food, I learned that not only had my new flight been delayed, but also the gate changed.  So I found my new gate, and sat there for several more hours while my flight was delayed a couple more times.

During my wait in line and at the gates, I emailed my daddy (because he was at work, and therefore at his computer all day, whereas MD had things to do away from her laptop. And also because Daddy's email came up first on the contact list, so it was easier.) from my kindle and he brainstormed alternative options¹¹.  I also watched Milk and cried¹².

We finally got on the plane around 10 o'something (too many times in my brain.  Flight times, new flight times, newer flight times, boarding times, revised boarding times, estimated arrival time of our plane, gate closing times, times when things actually happened that were absolutely never anywhere near the times they posted on the signs everywhere or announced over the intercoms), and had to sit for a bit while some luggage thing was sorted out, I think.

Our pilot, Graham, was quite nice.  He was all "we hate this waiting thing as much as you do, and with luck we'll get out of here soon.  Also, sorry we were late, but we didn't have a plane.  BTW, we're leaving the cockpit door open until we have to leave, so if you want to come chillax with us, come on up."  So I chillaxed with the Graham and Tim (the copilot) in the cockpit and good times were had by all.

The flight itself was quick and not nearly adventurous enough to merit the 12 hour wait.

Once off the plane, I got stamped (for the fourth time that day (the first three were in Amsterdam.  Out of the country, back into the country, out of the country again, then into a different country.  Lots of passport stamps in one day.  If I keep this up, I may well fill my passport before it expires.)) and caught the tube out of the airport.  On the tube, there was a guy eating an orange.  My first thought was "Rodney McKay is deathly allergic to citrus! Are you trying to kill him?" After the tube was the bus, then I was back in my Box and quite happy to be there.

Today, I lazed in bed most of the morning.  I eventually got up to check my mail and fight with the registry people.

I got a lovely package of joy from my beloved roommates.  At present, I have a hippo and a queer unicorn nomming on my computer screen.  Said Package of Joy is also the source of my peach rings¹³.

Fighting with the registry people is the reason I may need naquadria in the near future.  Because one of them told me that I already have a schedule, didn't I check myzone? And I said, yes, I did, many times, and there isn't one there.  So she printed it off for me and said look, there, you have three classes.  And I said that's my fall schedule.  I already took those classes.  I need a timetable for the spring, and would you please note that the spring timetable, located just beneath the autumn one, is blank?  You see?  Naquadria.  I need it.  So she fetched someone else, who told me to go to the registration session for this semester's batch of exchange students and pick out my courses there.  Except the registration session is on Friday and classes start on Monday and that is not okay.

*sigh* I must not sic Moriarty on my university.  I must not sic the Wraith on my university.  I must not sic Voldemort on my University. I must not sic the Daleks on my university...

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to hang some snowflakes and color butterflies.

1. I think it was two eves…

2. Dragon and Sal are becoming quite good friends.

3. Yes, BK, I know you disapprove of Cosmo.  I do, too.  That's why I read it. You may not understand, but I like finding the sexism and fat shaming and slut shaming and heterosexism and all the other problematic things and yelling at Cosmo and society for reinforcing those problems.  That is not to say, of course, that I will not dance with glee when I no longer have to.  But until then, I will get angry and be happy.

4. Postcard to anyone who can source that quote.

5. More on that later.

6. He's the original Phantom, in case you didn't know.

7. I can totally see Dina Shewango living there.

8. Because they do security at the gate there. Clever, yeah?

9. Also, thoughts of "why couldn't this happen during travel with Daddy?  Daddy could fix this."

10. Remember when I called the waiting line at the Anne Frank house the Line to Forever?  I lied.  This was the line to forever.

11. Thanks, Aunt N, for offering to rescue me.

12. At the movie, not at my situation. Though that was a close thing.

13. See? I said I'd get back to them.  Or wait, did I say I'd get back to the naquadria?  Well, either way, I'm getting to the full circle bit now.

PS.  Remember the fruit roll-up that was to become my dinner a few posts ago?  You will be proud: it's still sitting in my drawer, with lots of other foods brought by MD, Daddy, and Aunt J. Much love to all my dealers.