Her name is Evelyn and she lives two doors down from me and she is a fearless and mighty s***** killer.
It was huge and ugly and was on my bed next to my face and not okay.
And then it was on Dragon's foot, and Mummydear* tried to talk me through killing it, but instead I hyperventilated, so that didn't work very well.
And then it was under my bed where I couldn't get it, even if I could stop panicking, which I couldn't, but that's beside the point, the point being that its disappearance was problematic because being able to see it is bad enough, but knowing it's somewhere but not knowing where somewhere is means that it could be anywhere and that's not okay.
But I heard some doors opening and closing down the hall (or possibly upstairs) so I went out and saw a girl heading to the bathroom and asked her if she could kill spiders and she said she could and then she did and isn't she magnificent?
I think I'm going to marry her.**
*Yes, Mummydear. I called her internationally because the demon was between me and the door and me and my computer but not me and my phone, and who else could help me?
**Or I would, if I were into participating in heteronormative rituals of oppression, which I'm not, and if she were into heteronormative rituals of oppression and also girls, which are presently unknown elements of her personality. But we might have coffee (hot chocolate) when we both cease to be ill, which seems to be as close to marriage as we're gonna get in the eternal thanks market.
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